Friends, I have been asked to explain the meaning of the enormous “S” emblazoned upon my chest. I have tried to avoid this day of reckoning for some time — as does anyone so marked — but alas, there are no more phone booths where one may escape prying eyes.

It is time for me to come out. I am a writer, after all, so I should not be at a loss to explain the most obvious thing about myself. The Good Book says, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man” (1 Cor. 10:13). Even so, I am not proud of this.

When Judy came to the living room this morning, she exclaimed, “You’ve certainly been busy!” The carpets had been vacuumed, trash put out, stray books reshelved, bills sorted and paid, and dishes washed. All before 9 o’clock. She was even more impressed when I announced that I would take a load of used books to the half-price store and drop off a couple of bags of recyclables. I asked if there were any other errands she needed me to handle in that part of town.

Anyone else observing this industrious behavior early on a Saturday might cover their mouths with amazement and say, “Look–up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…”

But Judy smiled benignly and began drawing up a list of chores (as a matter of fact, she just laid a pile of papers on the chair next to me and asked that I sort them) because she knew I had fallen victim to my secret sin. She knows me so well. Now you, too, shall know.

You see, Saturday is my day for writing. I rose (without the aid of an alarm clock) at a quarter till 4, my mind brimming with ideas for the novel that I have underway. So I showered, shaved, dressed, had breakfast, brushed my teeth, checked my e-mail, checked my Facebook page, and installed a new program on my computer. Then my eye fell upon a pile of unread correspondence on the floor. What if there were an important letter from my family, my doctor, or–best of all–my agent? Immediately, I plunged into it. And before I knew it, Judy was saying, “You’ve certainly been busy!”

Busy, busy, busy. So busy. So productive. Except for writing. I didn’t begin writing until noon. And then I started writing this blog post. Now I see it’s the longest post I’ve ever written. I can be proud.

No. To be honest, no, I’m not proud. 

Because I must confess that my brilliant red “S” stands for the most shameful affliction of every writer–the demon that taunts me every time I sit at the computer keyboard or pull out a fresh, clean tablet of paper. Many people don’t know what to call it, but I can’t beg off on that account. I’m a Christian, so I know what to call it. My big red “S” stands for sloth.

There. I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Wow–it’s 1 o’clock. I wonder what else I need to do…